Evans Akpo

Many people would like to blame idiotic political correctness issues, plus religious rights as a ground for a quarrel. The other day someone made a good point when they said to me that the more quarreling and disarray in the world, the more power the politicians have over us including a reason to institute autocratic leadership. I think this is a very true comment and way past a conspiracy theory. Think about it this way, a tree is a tree, no matter which culture you were born in and which religion you practice. So then why not stick to the facts at hand and work on identifying OBJECTIVELY what is right and what is wrong, rather than whether you or the other person is in the right or not. Focus on the event/issue at hand, rather than the person. Also, throughout all this silly media and political conditioning which clouds your judgement. End of the day we are ALL human beings with emotions and needs. We need to be loved, we need to be respected, we need to stay warm, we need to eat, we need to relieve ourselves, and we need to sleep. We need to protect our families. How much more is there. It shouldn’t bother me about what color or religion you are – these are basic universal needs. Follow these and judge according to these – then you will see the similarity and more than often find it easier to resolve issues. We are all the same underneath.

Be the first to apologize! Get rid of that stubborn streak! Be man/woman enough to apologize first. Even if in your heart you know you are right, is it worth the health risk of having a heart attack over a quarrel? If you have never tried apologizing – do so now. A quarrel leaves you irritated and tense for days. You dream of how you are going to ‘sort out’ the other person. Do you ever? By simply apologizing and walk away, your whole being relaxes and guess what… you get over it!

Please be the first to run to them in saving the relationship or friendship.

When it comes to arguments, I sometimes say, “you’re better than that; don’t follow that line. ” It’s all good and well not to raise your voice in an argument and keep control of your emotions. I know people who can do that well. However, and I actually find this hysterical… with a calm voice they can actually swear at the other person and insult them in a most profane manner. Hello – that’s as bad a shouting. Whatever you do and no matter how you are tempted – refrain from insulting bad language and profanity. If you stoop that low, you deserve what comes your way. If the other person stoops so low – do you really have to follow suite? We come back to that quotation, “When arguing with an idiot, make sure that you are not the idiot.” By stooping to their level I firmly believe you are a bigger idiot than them. Don’t follow that line, because you’re better than that.

If ALL negative things in life start with ONE, then hey, it takes ANOTHER ONE to negate the negativity! Think about it this way, most bad things are a build-up of many things over a period of days, weeks, months etc. But again, it all started somewhere with the first ONE behavior. Therefore if you can learn to identify that first ONE thing as it happens, all you need to do is negate and change that ONE single thing in order to turn the situation around.

The challenge is of course to identify that initial ONE thing when it happens. But is it really a challenge? I don’t think so, as daily in each of our lives we encounter situations and experiences that begin in that moment. It’s as easy as doing something about it from today – and at this ONE moment! Take the example of a rude driver in traffic. That one rude person annoys you. However, but instantly adding another ONE positive thing into that situation you ONLY have to negate that ONE bad event. For example put on your ONE favourite song loudly and change your mood then and there. Someone is rude to you at work and it starts with that ONE rude remark. If you don’t tackle that situation head on then and there, this ONE rude remark builds into many over the next few days and months and eventually you not only hate that person, but odds are you hate everyone associated with that person. Now judgmentalism and group judgmentalism begins to show its ugly face. All because of ONE action that you didn’t negate when it happened!

The solution, no matter what negative event happens in your day, whether it is a snotty comment, selfish behaviour, bad attitude, it is up to you to take the onus and do ONE thing to negate that ONE event. In that way you remain in control of your life completely.

Advising someone to stand up to a plethora of behaviours and situations becomes a complex and scary thought. But saying to someone to only focus on ONE thing and change ONE thing at a time, is much easier and way more achievable.

I’m starting with a poem by an unknown author…

One song can spark a moment,

One flower can wake the dream.

One tree can start a forest,

One bird can herald spring.

One smile begins a friendship,

One handclasp lifts a soul.

One star can guide a ship at sea,

One word can frame the goal.

One vote can change a nation,

One sunbeam lights a room.

One candle wipes out darkness,

One laugh will conquer gloom.

One step must start each journey,

One word must start each prayer.

One hope will raise our spirits,

One touch can show you care.

One voice can speak with wisdom,

One heart can know what’s true.

One life can make the difference,

You see, It’s Up to You!

Isn’t that just so simple, yet so true? All it takes is ONE thing. Whether it’s one thought, one action, one step or one idea – IT ALL STARTS with ONE.

Any change in your life, any progression to another level – it’s all about ONE. Therefore the next time you ponder in fear about how difficult it is to implement a change in your life, think of this – it only takes ONE thing to change current circumstances. Not a hundred, but ONE. Everything starts with that first (ONE) step.

I love simple explanations and feel that we completely over-complicate life today. If we look at life as ONE’S, we can really simplify everything.

On the other side of the scale, it also takes only ONE thing to annoy us and create negativity in our lives too;

It takes ONE car to push in front of you in the traffic to irritate you for the rest of the day.

It takes ONE tax audit to ruin your whole month.

It takes ONE relative to annoy your entire family.

It takes ONE failed attempt to stop many people from ever trying again.

It takes ONE failed relationship to stop people from ever loving again.

It takes ONE racist idiot to make certain people judge an entire group as racist.

It takes ONE hateful person to set into motion processes for war.

So anything bad always starts with ONE event!

So what’s the message here? ONE!

No where is there a rule book that states that you must be friends with everyone around you. As humans we long for acknowledgement and recognition and many people fail to realize that not everyone will give you this. I read a newsletter that advice that people should not strive to have everyone love them, but instead they should strive to have them respect them. This is a very important point in life. We always try to fit in everywhere, but never take a stand in what we believe. Then we wonder why people don’t respect us. It is an unchangeable fact that not everyone will like you – there is NOTHING you can do to change this. However, you can get them to respect you. The only way you can do this is to stand up for what you believe in. One way to do this with annoying people is to clearly tell them what your boundaries are and what you will allow them to say to you. Letting others know about your feelings and boundaries helps them treat you in the manner you want to be treated.

WolfGang 2014 newsletter reinterate what some hold as  truth today, he wrote “each morning your bank deposits $86,400 in your private account for your use. Wouldn’t that be so cool? However, this prize has rules:”

According to him,

1. Everything that you didn’t spend during each day would be taken away from you.

2. You may not simply transfer money into some other account.

3. You may only spend it.

4. Each morning upon awakening, the bank opens your account with another $86,400 for that day. How awesome is that?

5. The bank can end the game without warning; at any time it can say, “Game Over!” It can close the account and you will not receive a new one. Mm – that’s not so nice.

What would you personally do?

Dare I guess that you would buy anything and everything you wanted, as in right now?

Not only for yourself, but for all the people you love and care for.

Even for people you don’t know, because you couldn’t possibly spend it all on yourself, right?

You would try to spend every penny, and use it all, because you knew it would be replenished in the morning, right?

ACTUALLY, This GAME is REAL…

It’s called life!

Shocked?

YES!

Each of us is already a winner of this prize.

We just can’t seem to see it. The prize is TIME!

1. Each morning we awaken to receive 86,400 seconds as a gift of life.

2. And when we go to sleep at night, any remaining time is Not credited to us.

3. What we haven’t used up that day is forever lost.

4. Yesterday is forever gone.

5. Each morning the account is refilled, but the bank can dissolve your account at any time WITHOUT WARNING…

SO, what will YOU do with your 86,400 seconds? Those seconds are worth so much more than the same amount in money. Think about it and remember to enjoy every second of your life, because time races by so much quicker than you think.

So take care of yourself, be happy, love deeply and enjoy life!

We need to set out to work if we are to see our dreams come to reality.

At 7AM, a man woke up feeling ill, but decided he needed the money, so went into work. At 3PM he got laid off. Driving home he got a flat tire. When he opened the trunk for the spare, it was flat too. A man in a luxury car pulled over and gave him a ride, they chatted, and then he offered him a job. He starts tomorrow! Life works in interesting ways!

The choice is yours to continue with the old, or to change your mind-set and go for the new. Most importantly, remember, even if you decide not to make a choice, that is still a choice in itself to remain in the old state of mind! Fair enough, it’s not always so easy to change and make new plans. Or is it? Maybe it’s just a mind-set. I believe the world today has wrongly conditioned people not to believe in their own abilities. Not because we can’t achieve our dreams, but because we have been misinformed and hence wrongly believe we cannot do it ourselves.

Let me explain, one goal is to learn to bake a cake. Most people just see the end result and have no idea how the process works, believing it to be too complex. Yet the first step in baking a cake is the easiest of them all! Find out how! Turn on the computer (we can all do that!), open Google and type in, “How to bake a cake?” Guess what, there are articles and videos on the first page on how to do it. By reading, or viewing one of these, you will already be so much more informed and pretty much know what is needed to bake a cake. The problem is, most people won’t even put in the effort to actually ask the question and look it up on Google. And believe it or not, the easiest and if not the MOST IMPORTANT step in achieving any New Years’ resolution is finding out how to do it!

Not making mistakes is the biggest mistake you could ever make? Remember, life isn’t about avoiding mistakes, but rather about embracing the idea that mistakes is a reality in your life. You just need to decide whether you are willing to learn from them or not.