Undoing thinking pattern

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You see, changes, and even deaths, are simply endings, which are all a necessary part of living. And all endings are necessary for beauty, too—otherwise it’s impossible to appreciate someone or something, because they are unlimited. Limits illuminate beauty—they are reminders that we need to be aware of this beautiful person or situation, and appreciate this beautiful thing called life. Every ending is also a beginning, because while we have lost someone or something special, this ending, like every loss, is a moment of reinvention. Although heartbreaking, it forces us to reinvent our lives, and in this reinvention is an opportunity to experience beauty in new, unseen ways and places. And, of course, every ending is an opportunity to celebrate the beautiful, ever-changing journey we’re on, and to be grateful for what it has showed us and taught us along the way.

Getting to this point of understanding—changing your thinking—again, is far from easy. But it’s honestly worth every bit of effort you can muster.

We all need a healthy reminder like this sometimes—that if we want to be happier, we need to do the hard things, to face the unexpected losses and painful life changes that we’re going to encounter no matter how much we try to avoid them. We need a reminder to face down our pain and negative thinking and leverage it to take the next step. And, sometimes, we just need a reminder that we’re not done yet—that today is worth fighting for.

You may not be responsible for everything that happened to you in the past, or everything that’s happening to you right now, but you need to be responsible for standing strong and undoing the thinking patterns these circumstances create.

Most things you want to achieve.

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Stop believing you should feel more confident before you take the next step.

Taking the next step is what builds your confidence. Meditate of that for a moment, and then force yourself forward.

You don’t need to have everything you want to achieve mapped out.

And you know what “next step” I’m referring to—that important one you’re just not quite “ready” to take yet… the one you keep waiting for the “right” time to take.

Well, it’s time! It’s time to allow yourself to be a beginner. Because no one starts off being great. And no one is perfect every step of the way.

We all learn the way on the way. So, do the best you can until you know better. Once you know better, do better.

Seriously, learn to start every day before you feel ready, and I promise you will learn how to succeed, step by step, before you even realize you’re good enough.

Ask any parent if they felt 100% ready for the arrival of their first child (or their first day as the parent of a 3-year-old, a 13-year-old, or a 23-year-old ). The answer will always be “no.” They just do the best they can to take the next step, and then they figure it out from there.
No matter what it is, you just need to get started—to make “starting” a daily ritual.

Because standing still, you have no momentum. Momentum and progress are what build confidence and erode apprehension.

Rituals put you in motion without having to think (and over-think) about the next move. You decided long before you acted—now you just act. And you act intentionally.

And when you act in this way, you make the most rewarding progress imaginable, every single day.

They don’t have enough time.

Screen Shot 2018-11-05 at 11.31.30 AMBusyness isn’t a virtue, nor is it something to respect. Though we all have seasons of crazy schedules, very few of us have a legitimate need to be busy ALL the time. We simply don’t know how to live within our means, prioritize properly, and say no when we should.

Being busy rarely equates to productivity these days. Just take a quick look around. Busy people outnumber productive people by a wide margin. Busy people are rushing all over the place, and running late half of the time. They’re heading to work, conferences, meetings, social engagements, etc. They barely have enough free time for family get-togethers and they rarely get enough sleep. Yet, emails are shooting out of their smart phones like machine gun bullets, and their day planners are jammed to the brim with obligations. Their busy schedule gives them an elevated sense of importance. But it’s all an illusion. They’re like hamsters running on a wheel.

Though being busy can make us feel more alive than anything else for a moment, the sensation is not sustainable long term. We will inevitably, whether tomorrow or on our deathbed, come to wish that we spent less time in the buzz of busyness and more time actually living a purposeful life.

The Key

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The key is to realize that no matter what happens, you can choose your attitude and inner dialog, which dictates pretty much everything that happens next. Truly, the greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another – to train our minds to see the good in what we’ve got, even when it’s far less than we expected.

It’s about choosing: Will I allow this to upset me? Will I choose to make this bad or good? Will I choose to stay or walk away? Will I choose to yell or whisper? Will I choose to react or take the time to respond?

Mind: Indeed your battle ground.

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The mind is indeed your battleground! Because it has so many little weaknesses. It becomes forgetful and insensible when it’s stressed. And the only way to conquer these weaknesses is to practice conquering them—to practice thinking better.

What you need to remember is that the mind operates like a muscle, and just like every muscle in the human body, it needs to be exercised to gain and maintain strength. It needs to be trained daily to grow and develop gradually over time. If you haven’t pushed the mind in lots of little, positive ways over the course of time, of course it’ll crumble on the inevitable days that get overwhelmingly stressful.

The most significant hidden benefit of exercising your mind and THINKING BETTER?

Renewing your trust in yourself, so you can LIVE BETTER.

The path of least resistance

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“Life is meant to be easier and enjoyed more.” – Sure, I agree that life should be enjoyed (as many of us do) but the problem is that the idea that life should ALWAYS be easy and enjoyable is used to justify all kinds of lazy behavior.  Might as well sit on the couch and scarf down those potato chips, because hey, life is meant to be enjoyed, right?  Nope.  You can do without junk food and still enjoy life.  You can exercise and enjoy it.  You can give up a lot of comfort in your life and not lose a thing.  In fact, the path of least resistance is often the path of least reward.  You need to do hard things.  There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.  As Einstein once said, “Genius is 1% talent and 99% hard work.”  You must run to be a runner.  You must write to be a writer.  You must actively work on a business venture to learn how to run a successful business.  There is no substitute for doing the work.  So meditate on this every day: “I will do the work.  It won’t be easy.  It will be worth it!”

Why you must make it happen

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“I can do it later.” – Sure, you can always do it later… but your later self will feel the same exact way.  Think about it: Why should your later self be more disciplined than your present self?  In fact, because you’re allowing yourself to slack off now, you’re building a habit of procrastination and actually making it less likely that your later self will be more disciplined.  So today, stop making excuses for why you can’t get it done and start focusing on all the reasons why you must make it happen.  Stop talking about what you have done or what you are going to do.  Just do it and let your actions speak for themselves.  Most great things in life don’t happen by chance, they happen by choice.  You never know what’s possible until you risk finding out.  In the end, there is only one thing that makes your dreams and goals completely impossible to achieve:  Your lack of action today.

Kinds of Union

“The Christian idea of marriage is based on Christ’s words that a man and wife are to be regarded as a single organism….The male and the female were made to be combined together in pairs, not simply on the sexual level, but totally combined. The monstrosity of sexual intercourse outside marriage is that those who indulge in it are trying to isolate one kind of union (the sexual) from all the other kinds of union which were intended to go along with it and make up the total union. The Christian attitude does not mean that there is anything wrong about sexual pleasure, any more than about the pleasure of eating. It means that you must not isolate that pleasure and try to get it by itself, any more than you ought to try to get the pleasures of taste without swallowing and digesting, by chewing things and spitting them out again. As a consequence, Christianity teaches that marriage is for life.” — C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Time to let go …..(5)

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A person’s actions rarely match their words. – Everybody deserves somebody who helps them look forward to tomorrow.  If someone has the opposite effect on you, because they are consistently inconsistent and their actions don’t match up with their words, it’s time to let them go.  It’s always better to be alone than to be in bad company.  True friendship is a promise made in the heart – silent, unwritten, unbreakable by distance, and unchangeable by time.  Don’t listen to what people say; watch what they do.  Your true friends will slowly reveal themselves over time.

Time to let go …….(4)

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You catch yourself obsessing over, and living in, the past. – Eventually you will overcome the heartache, and forget the reasons you cried, and who caused the pain.  Eventually you will realize that the secret to happiness and freedom is not about control or revenge, but in letting things unfold naturally, and learning from your experiences over the course of time.  After all, what matters most is not the first, but the final chapter of your life, which unveils the details of how well you wrote your story.  So let go of the past, set yourself free, and open your mind to the possibility of better relationships and experiences on the road ahead.

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