Evans Akpo

While there are plenty of positive changes we seek in life – new relationships, new experiences, better education, etc. – for most of us, change represents uncertainty. With uncertainty comes insecurity and worry. The truth is, change isn’t always easy to deal with, but it’s something we have to embrace openly. We have to force a smile as best we can and push ourselves forward.

Most of us want change as much as we are afraid of it. We say things like, “I’m so unhappy in my marriage, but I’m afraid of being alone.” “I’m sick of working in a corporate cubicle, but I make decent money.” “I can’t stand where I live, but I own my home and it would be hard to sell.”

When we resist change, it’s because we’re still holding on to what life is asking us to release. Whether it’s planned or unplanned change, we are being asked to re-examine our path and consider what direction we really want to travel.

Change is part of living. And whether you like it or not, it’s going to take place with or without your approval. It could be something small (your company assigned you to a new project), or gigantic (death, divorce, or disability). Life has a natural way of forcing us to grow.

With responsibility comes commitment and the trait of never ever giving up. Remember even when there are other people out there that have contributed towards and are jointly responsible for your successes in life, ONLY YOU, are responsible for your failures! Let me explain… Yes, others may have had a role to play in your mishaps and failures, but it is your choice to remain a failure. People with responsibility learn from their failures, pick themselves up and try and try again until they succeed. That’s responsibility.

I was in ChristChurch London when I heard this word preached about acceptance being the key to growth. I thought it out this way after that sermon, that was years ago about the subject of love. Sadly, many people believe that when they love someone, only that person can make them happy. They also wrongly believe that their love gives them a right to attempt to change that person and that this partner must do things for you in order for the love to be complete. The biggest mistake people make is thinking that love means that you are always in a good mood, see the brighter side of life and are constantly positive about everything around you, and that this feeling is all because of the person that you love. Interestingly, and this may come as a shock to you, love is not being scared of getting hurt and being jealous over another person.

Phew! If that’s the case, then what is love really all about?

Firstly, love is about acceptance. It is about accepting the person you love for who they are. Not wanting to change them, not believing that they could be better, but accepting that person for exactly who they are in this very moment.

Therefore, unconditional love is the second important aspect of love. Once you fall in love with this person, it doesn’t matter what they do, or who they become, where they live, how their circumstances change or whether they become ill – your love remains the same. And finally, love is completely selfless in that when you love, you expect nothing in return. This means that your love has no boundaries or expectations. Basically you love the other person unconditionally without any expectation of love in return. Whether they stay with you or leave you, your love remains the same.