Evans Akpo

To cleave and leave have some deep meaning. Sometimes, it comes with grief, and other times with  joy and excitement. However, it’s important to remember who you once were in the past. And to also remember you can’t go back there again.

When times get tough, our worst battle is often between what we remember and what we presently feel. Thus, one of the hardest decisions you will ever have to make is when to stay put and struggle harder or when to just take your memories/lessons and move on. Sometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you are capable of being, and the person you truly are today.

Over-thinking and worrying about everything. – When your fears have you looking too deep into things, it creates problems, it doesn’t fix them. If you think and you think and you think, you will think yourself right out of happiness a thousand times over, and never once into it. Worrying doesn’t take away tomorrow’s troubles, it takes away today’s peace and potential. Stop over-thinking everything. Life is too short. (from the “Happiness” chapter of our book)

Love is the key and solution to most issues.  Even after you’ve made some mistakes, learn to love yourself enough to move on. Start embracing the mistakes you haven’t even made yet. – To be successful in the long run, you must fail sometimes. So don’t let the fear of making the wrong decision prevent you from making any decision at all. And don’t let not knowing how it’ll end keep you from beginning. When we act, uncertainty chases us out into the open where opportunity awaits. (covered in the “Goals & Growth” module of “Getting Back to Happy”).

Love is kind. Love involves some changes.  Start making the changes you know you need to make. – Just because something made you happy in the past doesn’t mean you have to keep it forever.  If you want to see changes in your life today, you’ll have to do things that you’ve never done before.  Different input = different output.  Move away from the things that drain you and move toward the thoughts and activities that empower and fulfill you.  (covered in the “Happiness & Positive Living” module of “Getting Back to Happy”)

Loving yourself is not often wrong as some religion suggest. It depends on its context.  Not loving yourself is the problem, knowing we project who we are to the world. Start distancing yourself from those who bring you down. – Being in no relationship is better than being in a wrong one. Don’t worry too much about folks who don’t worry about you. Know your worth! When you give yourself to those who disrespect you, you lose. Your friends in life should motivate, inspire and respect you. Your circle should be well rounded and supportive. Keep it tight. Quality over quantity, always. (covered in the “Love & Relationships” module of “Getting Back to Happy”).

I’m not in anyway supporting prideful and arrogant self centered friendship that revolves around you. Neither does this article frown at sacrificial friendship. It only frowns at self destructive friendship, that makes you value yourself less that makes people settle for less.

As we reminisce on the effect of his love for us, let’s remember it was reflected on the cross and Easter amplifies the settled issue. The resurrection becomes the key and validity of our faith. Through the rugged, uncomely cross lies our hope. In a way, the love for me reflects how I love him. I can’t give what I don’t have. I have what I have been given. It seems to me it’s only when I love and take care of me that I’ll  definitely be able to love and take care of others. Jesus loved himself to be able to die on the cross by fulfilling his purpose. Because of his purpose, he was intentional in choosing  friendships and relationships that is in line with his mission.

Start focusing less on winning the approval of others. – Remind yourself that you don’t have to do what everyone else is doing. And you don’t have to get permission to do it differently either. Your time on this planet is precious. As the saying goes, “What you do today is important, because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.” Don’t wait around for someone else to give you permission to live. (covered in the “Goals & Growth” module of “Getting Back to Happy”)

Lets love ourself and be intentional in our purpose.

Loving yourself doesn’t mean hating others. It means loving yourself enough to express that love to others. It means saying “No” sometimes to others because you love them enough, based on the love you have for yourself.  While ending some friendship isn’t the best, but in some cases, it means the demise of those friendships.

Start being one with what is. – Something that is really difficult, but totally worth it, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the journey of becoming your true self.  The most beautiful part of this journey is simply returning to the peaceful feeling of being.  This peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be.  (covered in the “Happiness & Positive Living” module of “Getting Back to Happy”)

Love is often misunderstood based on cultural interpretation. As a college professor, I once told my class in Sharyland Piooner High School, McAllen, Texas, how we as student in society should love each other. What most people think is about “making love” and not loving on each other. I believe we could change the world, if we first love ourself. What we reflect to the world is based on who we are.

You should start telling yourself what you love about yourself. – In your own life it’s important to know how spectacular you are. You really have to look in the mirror and be kind. Because what we see in the mirror is often what we see in the world. Our disappointment in others often reflects our disappointment in ourselves. Our acceptance of others often reflects our acceptance of ourselves. Our ability to see potential in others often reflects our ability to see potential in ourselves. Our patience with others often reflects our patience with ourselves. You get the idea – you’ve got to show yourself some love first and foremost. (covered in the “Love & Relationships” module of “Getting Back to Happy”)

On Monday she was bored and wanted to know what our plans was going to be for the day. We drove to my office and later to Chuck E. Cheese’s.

According to her, she had so much fun at Chuck E. Cheese’s. She got some tickets and played recklessly. She suggested our having another ice-cream like we did a day previously because the weather was humid. I declined, because we don’t want too much sugar. We had pizza and left.

We had our second struggle when I told her to give me water from the fridge. She said,”Daddy, I’m not your servant.” Those words attracted the usual tears. I reward obedient and have a zero tolerance to the opposite of it.

We end the day watching a movie in the house, and enjoying popcorn and sweet buttered corn.

inspirational Nugget: The most important thing in life is not the  triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well.– Baron Pierre De Coubertin.

Sometime when you have a 5-year-old, there  are always some interesting drama attached to it.

Before her arrival at the Harlingen (Valley) international Airport, Texas, Marho had already requested how she wanted her room.  “Daddy, pink is my favorite color and I want pink.”

I decided to make everything pink; including the welcome ballon. On our way home, she rolled down the glass of the car and let her Sun dark shade off the moving car. She cried thinking I was going to stop and pick it for her along the Trenton road in McAllen, TX. No response from Daddy. She eventually cried home for the first time.

On entering her room, we started dealing with how she should be turning off the lights. We have about 38 light bulbs. I had an agreement with her that if she turns off the lights she’ll be paid $1 each day. She excitedly accepted the offer and it’s been good. I calculated that her turning off the light would save us more money than what I would pay her. Most times she’s very gifted in leaving all the lights on. Now she has the responsibility of working for her money by keeping the light off when not in use.

Inspirational Nugget: Once in motion, a pattern tends to stay in motion- J. G. Gallimore.

When I first saw this picture from my friend, Agbontaen Jude post. I was interested in reading the whole post. Then it read: “This image is the most powerful art picture this year. The sculpture of 2 adults after a disagreement sitting with their back to each other. Yet the inner child in both of them simply wants to connect. Age has taught us much, but what we can’t live without is ego, hatred and grudges that prevent us from forgiving and moving ahead. The free spirit exhibited by children is our true nature.”

I totally agree with the post and decided to rename mine as “love being the key.” The key to solving our world problem isn’t more chaos, but love. As Americans decide who the president should be, we hear political rhetorics of hatred and shame. Negative words are being posted to discredit each other. While some of the point might be true or lies, but at a deeper level the solutions to all of our problem isn’t more hate speeches but love. Love is the key.