Evans Akpo

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” — Viktor E. Frankl

Holding Tightly to the Way Things Once Were

One thing is certain during a terminal degree journey—you’re not the same person who started this process. Not a year ago, not even a month ago. Every chapter, challenge, and paper is shaping you. And while you can’t control everything that happens, you can choose your attitude along the way. That choice helps you manage change, rather than letting change manage you.

So stay humble. Stay teachable. The world—and your research—is often bigger than you imagined. There’s always room for a fresh insight or a new approach. But first, you have to accept that things may never return to how they were at the start. And that’s okay. Because what looks like an ending is often the beginning of something better.

When I started teaching as an adjunct professor at Cosumnes River College in California, I found myself constantly worrying. Would the students like me? Did my teaching style measure up to the expectations of my seasoned colleagues? Having transitioned from working as an employment coordinator in California, I wrestled with feelings of inadequacy, wondering if I truly belonged in academia.

I spent so much energy obsessing over others’ opinions, imagining the worst, until one day, I realized how draining and futile it was. That moment of clarity taught me an invaluable lesson: not everything is meant to be resolved. Some uncertainties — like what others think of you — are beyond your control and not worth your peace of mind.

Here’s what I’ve learned for 2025 and beyond:
You can’t control how others perceive you because their reactions are filtered through their own experiences, struggles, and emotions. Most of the time, their judgments have nothing to do with you. Instead of fixating on external validation, focus on what you can control — showing up authentically with love, passion, and purpose.

Let this year be the one where you stop wasting energy on things that don’t serve you. Trust yourself, and remember: your worth is not defined by others’ opinions. Keep doing your thing, knowing that you’re growing and evolving exactly as you’re meant to.

Your energy is precious. Use it to create, inspire, and thrive.