Evans Akpo

Rejection hurts. Whether it’s losing someone, missing out on an opportunity, or facing a door that just won’t open, it stings. But here’s something to remember—there’s often a hidden gift in rejection.

Instead of seeing it as a loss, think of it as a shift—a way of lightening your load so you can move more freely toward the path meant for you. Sometimes, what you’re holding onto isn’t what’s best for you, and letting go creates space for something greater.

It’s easy to feel discouraged, to think you’re stuck or broken. But you’re not broken—far from it! Life and God have bigger plans—ones that don’t involve endless nights of disappointment or self-doubt. The right opportunities, the right people, and the right moments will come. You just have to keep moving.

And that’s where patience comes in. But patience isn’t just about waiting. It’s about how you wait—staying hopeful, trusting the process, and embracing each step forward.

So, the next time rejection knocks at your door, don’t see it as the end. See it as redirection—a sign that something better is waiting ahead. Keep going. Your time is coming.

We’ve all been there – stuck on a problem, frustrated with a classmate, or maybe even feeling discouraged about a grade. It can be tough, but sometimes the most important lesson we learn is when to let go. As the great author Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Do not go around looking for faults; look for virtues and strengths. Believe promptly in the best that is in others.”

Letting go of things we can’t control is a crucial skill in education, just like in life. It allows us to focus our energy on what we can actually change – our own effort, attitude, and approach.

Here’s how letting go can benefit us in the classroom:

• Reduced Stress: Dwelling on things outside our control creates unnecessary stress. Letting go allows us to breathe, relax, and focus on what matters.
• Increased Focus: When we’re not bogged down by negativity, we can concentrate better on the material at hand.
• Improved Learning: A positive and open mind is essential for learning new things. Letting go of negativity fosters a growth mindset.
• Stronger Relationships: Holding onto resentment or frustration can damage relationships with classmates and teachers. Letting go promotes a more positive and collaborative learning environment.

Remember, letting go doesn’t mean giving up. It means accepting what is and focusing on what we can do. Every challenge is an opportunity to learn and grow. So, the next time you feel stuck, take a deep breath, let go of what you can’t control, and focus on what you can achieve!

Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.” – Babe Ruth

It’s easy to take for granted the importance of expressing our appreciation for the people we cherish. We often assume they know how much we value them, but a simple “thank you” can go a long way.

Just as we water a plant to help it grow, we need to nurture our relationships with words of encouragement and gratitude. Don’t wait for a special occasion to let someone know you appreciate them.

“Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile.“ – Mark Twain  

Remember, every moment is precious, and every opportunity to express love and appreciation is a gift.

In 2023, while flying from Houston to Portland, Oregon, during my time as a university dean, I had an unforgettable experience. Mid-flight, we encountered severe turbulence thousands of miles above sea level. For a moment, my world felt suspended—not just by the shaking plane, but by the flood of questions racing through my mind. What would I do differently if I got off this plane? What truly mattered in my life? It felt like a flash of clarity, forcing me to reflect on priorities I might have been neglecting. Thankfully, we landed safely, and I resumed work in Portland, but the experience lingered. Moments like these challenge us to confront the profound truths about what we value most.

The truth is, many of us live with a dangerous misalignment of priorities. We often invest time in activities that fail to reflect what we genuinely care about, leaving us feeling busy but unfulfilled. This misalignment became glaringly evident in a recent survey we conducted with 700 of our students. We asked them to rate how much joy they derived from their daily activities. As expected, work-related tasks ranked low on the joy scale, while personal activities ranked higher. But here’s what was startling: even in their personal lives, many students admitted they weren’t prioritizing what brought them joy.

For instance, students consistently reported finding the most joy in spending time with family, practicing spirituality, or working on passion projects. Yet, they spent far more time on activities like watching TV or scrolling through social media—activities they admitted gave them little to no lasting happiness.

This survey shined a light on a common struggle: a widespread misalignment between what we do and what we value. And this misalignment often leads us into a cycle of busyness laced with regret. We stay occupied, but at the end of the day, we’re left wondering if we spent our time wisely.

The turbulence on that flight reminded me of the fragility of life and the importance of aligning our actions with our values. My hope is that we all take a moment to reassess how we’re spending our time and ask ourselves: are we truly investing in what matters most?

In 2021, I came across a book that completely reshaped how I think about productivity,  social media, and purpose: Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport. It’s a thought-provoking exploration of how modern-day distractions masquerade as busyness, keeping us from what truly matters. Newport emphasizes that being overly busy is rarely meaningful—it’s often just noise we create to avoid stillness. And yet, so many of us fall into the trap, equating busyness with effectiveness.

Think about it: how often do we fill our calendars and social media feeds with “stuff” just to feel productive? We run from one task to another, driven by a need to avoid boredom or discomfort, instead of pausing to focus on what really matters. We’ve all been there—grabbing at shiny distractions the moment we feel idle, scrolling aimlessly, or overloading our schedules just to feel like we’re doing something. But here’s the catch: in the rush, we miss the beauty and peace found in simply being.

Our obsession with busyness blinds us. It pushes us into a constant state of “hurry” and “worry,” always chasing the next thing, always feeling behind. But does any of it actually help us move closer to our goals? Or are we just running in circles, tricking ourselves into believing that motion equals progress?

Here’s what really hit me: It is important for us to reconsider how we spend our time and to reclaim our attention for the things that matter. Busyness for the sake of busyness won’t lead to fulfillment. Intentionality, however, will. It’s about choosing to focus on what adds value to your life and having the courage to let go of the rest.

It’s my hope that after reading this, you’ll pause to reflect on how you’re spending your time. Are you moving with purpose, or just keeping busy? Let’s all aim to be more intentional, less distracted, and more focused on what truly matters. Life is too precious to waste on unnecessary busyness.

I remember working at a psychiatric hospital when someone shared a powerful truth with me—the three most impactful words on not taking things personally:

“If you take everything personally, you’ll be offended for the rest of your life.”

That statement hit me like a ton of bricks because it’s so true. Think about it: most of the time, when people say or do things that hurt us, it’s not actually about us. It’s about them—their struggles, insecurities, or emotional state. They’re acting from their own baggage, not because they have some grand scheme to upset us.

But here’s the catch—it’s easy to understand this concept, yet much harder to put into practice. When someone’s words or actions sting, our natural instinct is to internalize it, to believe it’s directed at us personally. But the reality is this: while you can’t control what others say or do, you can control how you respond. And choosing not to be weighed down by someone else’s behavior is one of the most liberating decisions you can make.

There’s a profound sense of freedom in letting go of the need to absorb other people’s issues. When you stop tying your happiness and peace of mind to how someone else behaves, you reclaim your power. As the saying wisely goes, “The way people treat you is their problem; how you react is yours.”

So why waste your energy carrying someone else’s burdens? Instead, decide today to rise above the negativity. Don’t let someone else’s bad day dictate your mood or ruin your peace. Detach from the drama, focus on your own well-being, and move forward with grace.

Trust me, when you let go of taking things personally, you’ll feel lighter, freer, and far more at peace. And someday, your future self will thank you for making this choice.

The concept of “the glass going through the rock” is a thoughtful design meant to symbolize gaining perspective as we grow older. Think about a two-year-old who doesn’t get what she wants right away. To her, it’s the end of the world—she throws a full-blown temper tantrum! In her little mind, this small, momentary problem feels massive because she doesn’t have the perspective to see beyond it.

Now, as adults, we look at situations like this and think, “Oh, come on, it’s not that serious!” We know there are countless other ways the child could find happiness, so the tantrum feels unnecessary to us. Why? Because we have a bigger perspective.

But here’s the kicker: when someone offends us or a situation doesn’t go our way, how do we react? Often, we act just like that two-year-old. That small, momentary offense feels enormous to us in the moment, and suddenly, we lose all perspective. We might not throw ourselves on the floor kicking and screaming, but we sure do throw the adult equivalent of a temper tantrum.

This design is a reminder to step back, breathe, and look at the bigger picture. What feels like a rock in our way now might just be a small hurdle when we view it through the lens of growth and maturity. It’s about letting wisdom shape how we see and respond to life’s challenges.

“Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.” – John C. Maxwell
This powerful quote from John C. Maxwell perfectly encapsulates the essence of living a fulfilling life. It emphasizes that while we may not always control the circumstances we encounter, we have absolute control over how we respond to them.

Living is an inherently risky endeavor. Every decision, every interaction, every step we take, even the simple act of getting out of bed each morning, involves an element of risk. True living, however, lies not in avoiding risk altogether, but in embracing it. It’s about acknowledging the inherent uncertainty and trusting in our own ability to navigate the unknown.

Conversely, clinging to illusions of safety and allowing fear to paralyze us can lead to a life of slow, agonizing stagnation. By constantly succumbing to our anxieties and allowing them to dictate our actions, we rob ourselves of the opportunity to learn, grow, and experience the full spectrum of human existence.

The fear of making mistakes can be a powerful inhibitor. However, it’s crucial to remember that even when our instincts lead us astray, we have the capacity to learn from those experiences, adjust our course, and continue moving forward. The true tragedy lies not in making mistakes, but in allowing the fear of making them to prevent us from ever truly living.

By embracing the inherent risks of life, we open ourselves up to a world of possibilities. We learn, we grow, and we discover our true potential. As John C. Maxwell reminds us, it’s not about the circumstances we encounter, but how we choose to respond to them.
This expanded version incorporates the John C. Maxwell quote seamlessly and provides a more in-depth exploration of the themes presented in the original text. It emphasizes the importance of embracing risk, overcoming fear, and learning from both successes and failures.

“You know, it’s easy to get stuck dwelling on the past – all the things that happened to us, both good and bad. But as Simon Sinek wisely said, “You aren’t responsible for everything that happened to you, but you need to be responsible for undoing the thinking and behavioral patterns these outcomes created within you.”

Blaming past experiences for our current limitations won’t change anything. Instead, we need to acknowledge those experiences, understand how they’ve shaped us, and then consciously choose to move forward differently.

It’s true, a mix of our choices and external factors beyond our control has brought us to this point. But focusing on negativity and blaming others won’t get us anywhere. The real power lies in taking responsibility for the next step, for how we choose to respond to our present circumstances.

Let’s leave the past behind, with all its regrets and resentments. Let’s focus on the present moment, where every possibility we seek exists. By taking ownership of our present, we can truly bring those possibilities to life.”